Reply to Rapid decrease in mom’s vision- what now?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]And I know you didn’t ask for it, but the reality is that eventually she’ll realize you’re serious and then she will agree to move closer to you. Even in an assisted care place so you ca visit her often.[/quote]

This.  You just have to let things play out.  Give her a very boring winter and she may come around.  It takes a while for reality to get through wishful thinking.[/quote]

Thank you. My DH said something similar and I think this is the correct/only approach. She lives in the Upper Midwest and winter will certainly be dull and restrictive.[/quote]

I would also let it play out but know that chances are there will be a big event (fall or accident being most likely) that will change the circumstances significantly and with little warning.  I would start looking at assisted living places near you and go on some tours.  Figure out which one is best and fits your Mom's potential budget and what the wait list situation might be. Keep reminding your Mother that you will not be moving and she needs to think about her next steps.  [/quote]

OP here. Yes, I’m terrified about falls on ice/snow especially because she has a long pattern of downplaying mishaps at home since my dad died 15 years ago. I usually only find out the truth when she’s been discharged from her latest PT cycle. I’ve tried over the years to put together an actual plan beyond medical POA and a living will and some other legal stuff, but my mom insists that the social worker calling from the ER is a perfectly good plan. In fact she even said “when it comes to that point, it’ll be your problem, not mine.” I could cry but I feel emptied out inside.

I am concerned about the budget issue. Real estate here (and presumably assisted living) are 3x the cost of her area. I have several tours of local places by me schedule for January. It’s all made more complicated because my mom lived in an apartment possibly for 2 years and 60 years ago and insists she won’t live anywhere with shared walls, floors or ceilings and that it just be walkable. [/quote]

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