Reply to I think my life would be easier if I was a single mom.

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Reply to "I think my life would be easier if I was a single mom."

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[quote=Anonymous]Let me preface this by saying I am already solo-parenting six months of the year. My husband works out of state for months at a time in a remote area where he cannot easily come home. His income is about 40% larger than mine, but I make roughly 102K in social services management.

My family lives in another country and I am estranged from my own mom. My dad, although he tries, has a disability, is a smoker and an alcoholic. My Dad had a traumatic life and really cannot be a physical source of support for me. My inlaws live 20 minutes away but are not a source of support either. I don't think they like me, they tolerate me when my husband is home and it's clear there's just *expectations* on me. I hosted Thanksgiving this year (at their request) and they stayed for 2 hours and ate maybe 1/4 of the food I prepared. They do not call when my husband is gone, any texts or calls I make go unanswered. When I was sick with mastitis and had a fever of 103 degrees while I was solo-parenting and vomiting, my inlaws refused to come help me because they were 2 hours away at their cabin.

I am 33. DH is 38. We have one child. DH did not get up in the first year when our son was born. I did all the night time feedings, burpings, changing. I dealt with constant health issues, like having mastitis 5x. My husband began to work out of state when our son was one and I had to just learn to adapt to solo parenting.

Even when he's home, he plans trips with his brother and Dad to go fishing and hunting. He has not once planned a vacation for our family, picked out our sons birthday presents. He is present when he's home with our son and actively plays with him but grows tired of him quickly and gets frustrated. He does not initiate bedtime. He cannot put our son down without me because my son just cries for me. He's never scheduled a doctors appointment. He doesn't know the login to our bills or mortgage.

Today, my husband is gone on a 3 day trip to go hunting with his brother and Dad. I scheduled our babysitter to watch our son while I was working. Today, my babysitter cancelled for all 3 days. I woke up with a sore throat and body aches. I called our back up babysitter and she's out of town on a vacation. I called my husband and I told him I didn't have childcare and was working solo while sick, and have an important client meeting I can't miss tomorrow. He told me he can't come home because they took one car and it would cancel his brother and Dad's hunting trip too, and they paid something like $500 for their tags.

So f$^k me, right? It's my problem to deal with to just suck it up again. My husband is zero help. Childcare, sickness, anything inconvenient is clearly my problem to deal with and mine alone. I would honestly leave RIGHT now if it wasn't for the fact that I would have to give up 50% custody and lose out on half my sons life. That is just beyond devestating. My husband knows he would have to give up his out of state job if we split up.

If life happens, like sickness, my husband is not there. It would be easier for me at this point to be a single mom and create my own life and at least KNOW that I chose this for myself than try to rely on someone who is never there for me. Even when our son is sick, he doesn't want my husband. He wants me. So my husband is helpful in the sense that he will do laundry and cook so that alleviates some burden. But damn, I am so tired of being a solo parent in a marriage.[/quote]

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