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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH and I are starting couples therapy this week. Things that I find common that the kids do irk and trigger anger for DH and we’ve decided to start counseling to work on our communication and be better parents. In the latest incident, DH grabbed DD because she was screaming inside and wouldn’t stop after repeatedly being asked. He left marks on her, I took pictures and insisted we need help. DH agrees. I want to be truthful in painting the full picture to our therapist so that we can grow and move forward. My question is would this scenario be something the therapist needs to report as a mandatory reporter? Do you hold back what you disclose in couples therapy?[/quote]

If you disclose this incident in therapy, the way you've described it here, yes, it would need to be reported. (I am also a therapist.)

If your husband grabbed your daughter hard enough to leave marks that you could photograph, you should be treating this situation as though he is dangerous to your kid, the way you would have to do if someone did call CPS. When I worked for CPS, one thing we assessed for was the protective capacity of any other parents living with the child. You are not demonstrating protective capacity by concealing this information, but I can certainly understand the difficulty you are in. If your husband is willing to grow and move forward, given what he is moving away from, he maybe is going to have to accept that part of that growing is going to include accountability for the ways in which he broke the law and abused your child.[/quote]

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