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[quote=Anonymous]Not exactly the same situation, but I was thinking today about how it's frustrating that our Thanksgivings are so far from what we enjoy as a family. No one will travel to us, and we only have one kid so we do feel compelled to travel to others. But our choices are (1) travel far to my family who is absolutely nuts and full of drama with people constantly fighting or refusing to speak to one another, (2) travel a medium distance to my ILs who are much less drama but there are no other kids at this meal and it's just a group of septugenarians and octogenarians talking about which of their friends recently died, or (3) having dinner with friends locally, which is easy and fun but also we always feel like outsiders because it will be like our friends' entire extended family and then the three of us.

We've been opting for my ILs for a while, in part because these relatives are getting older and we do want to make these memories with them while we can. And I don't resent it -- I really value family and I think this time is important. But I also really long for the ability to just host our own Thanksgiving, to make the food we love to make and invite friends and family and really make it "ours". But with families that won't come to us and most friends hosting large thanksgivings with their families, it just doesn't feel possible.

Maybe one of these years will just take trip just the three of us and spend Thanksgiving on a beach somewhere. It's not my dream Thanksgiving but it could feel like it was about our family instead of in service to other people's holidays.[/quote]

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