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[quote=Anonymous]My mother idolized her own mother. I think there was definitely a dynamic in their relationship and they both supplied the other—my mother is a Florence Nightingale-type and loves swooping in and taking over, my grandmother was in need of such from a caretaker, which my mother was. My experience was different. While my mother always saw my grandmother as a kind, giving person, my grandmother’s kindness always came at a price, and with guilt trips. Over the years she said some harsh things to me when she didn’t get her way. My experience isn’t the same as my mothers. My cousins experiences are similar to mine.

When my cousins don’t show the same nostalgia for their grandmother, my mother understands, admits grandma had motives. But when I express the same, I’m chastised and my mother becomes so ashamed with me and is in such disbelief over the things I’m saying. She thinks I’m a horrible person because grandma couldn’t have been more kind and giving to me.

Why am I not allowed to have my experience, yet my very-close-to-my-mother cousins are? [/quote]

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