Reply to Waited to TTC due to husband and now having fertility issues

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We waited to TTC as husband was not ready until his 36 birthday. I am turning 36 soon and we have been TTC for 4 months. My OB said to go to a fertility specialist if not able to conceive in 2 months.

I am so angry as I wanted a baby 4 years ago. What can I even do?[/quote]

Yhere's plenty you can do re TTC and I'll leave others to comment on that. In terms of your husband, accept that it would not have been good for your child or you if you'd had a baby before he was ready. Presumably you fell in love with him and wanted him to be the father of your children. Part of that was accepting the fact that he was not ready (assuming he did not mislead you). You made a choice as well, a choice to stay with him in spite of that, because he was the person you chose to be your husband and the father of your children; you thought he was worth it.  [b]Stop thinking of yourself as a passive victim of circumstance or your husband and realize that you were making a choice every day well.[/b] Good luck to you both.[/quote]
As someone in a similar position, something I have found helpful is forgiving yourself for the role you played in creating this situation. It’s easy to lash out and be angry but really you’re just grieving in a way (although TTC for 4 months is [i]not even close[/i] to a long time, but I digress). Be kind to your husband because you did agree to the arrangement, but more importantly be kind to yourself.[/quote]

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