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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Take a look at emotionally focused therapy, OP.  It focuses on helping partners express their deepest emotions to each other as a way to build intimacy.

And I agree that the inability to express emotions or have emotional intimacy doesn't have to come from a dysfunctional childhood - it is more a matter of whether our parents teach us to express emotions, model that behavior, and make it safe for us to do so.  (Take a look at books about emotional IQ.)  I'm pretty "normal" - no mood disorders, personality disorders, or dysfunctional/traumatic childhood - but I've had to learn and work on expressing my emotions because my parents never did that very well.

In terms of his depression, well, maybe that is a factor now, but it doesn't change the fact that he needs to learn how to be emotionally intimate if you guys are going to have a shot at staying together happily.  [/quote]

Hi OP, I totally hear you. I agree with trying emotionally focused therapy (EFT). http://www.iceeft.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=47&Itemid=79

My husband has struggled with depression, fear of failure, and related problems for such a long time and we are by no means through the woods, but without EFT I am certain we'd be divorced by now. He would completely shut down and shut me out, and he has finally realized how much pain his behavior has caused me.  EFT helps you figure out the patterns that keep you from connecting to your spouse in the way we all need.[/quote]

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