Reply to Spouse yells and loses his temper with 3 yo

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Reply to "Spouse yells and loses his temper with 3 yo"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you can find gentle language in a time that isn’t stressful- help him understand she is very young and doesn’t always understand how to do things or why it’s important. We forget little kids are still learning how to be here. Also that she’s an entire person with feelings, not just a responsibility. Parenting young children can be frustrating and difficult especially when we’re toggling between what we need to do/accomplish on a schedule and their actual processing speed.

[b] It also might be helpful to leave more time for transitions, let them know in 5 minutes we’re getting dressed, would you like to pick out your clothes or should I,  [/b]and if your child finds it helpful to narrate what you’re doing and  what’s next. [/quote]

+1. I am a mom and have a temper. I think the "leave him!!! Don't let him alone with your kid!" responses are extreme. He probably just needs to reframe and rethink some of his strategies. The bolded advice is VERY good because the key with kids this age and frustrating behaviors is to [b]set them up for success. [/b] If you can *prevent* the tantrum it's much better than addressing it ex-post. I have had great success with iPhone timers for transitions (leaving playground, etc.), giving choices, and giving them a job. It's annoying for kids to "help" with chores, I get it, but it saves us SO many tantrums. Toddlers love to help and keeping them busy and engaged prevents them from being destructive.

If your kid is absolutely melting down and it sets him off I find it helpful to use language that reminds me that I am the adult and I am in control of my reactions: e.g., "I am not going to let you kick me."

And you need a safe word of sorts when he is getting too angry and needs to pause, stop talking and preferably leave the room. [/quote]

Thanks - these are helpful tips.[/quote]

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