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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP the best food advice I've ever read has come from Ellyn Satter.  I would highly recommend picking up a book by her and really following it.

Everything she does is based on the division of responsibility.  You decide what to serve & when, and your child decides IF and how much to eat.  Her approach includes ensuring there is a plain carb on the table plus milk so that kids can manage if they don't want to try anything else.

The key is just dropping the rope, and not commenting on their food choices.  That means no coaxing, as well as no praise.  It needs to be neutral.

I follow her advice pretty closely, including serving a small portion of dessert with dinner and not having any negotiations at all around whether they get it.  It's a small portion so they can't fill up on it.  One of my sons always eats it first, and the other saves it until the end.

One of the main reasons I recommend her is that dinner has never been a battle in our house. The kids don't feel anxious about what's being served, or shamed when they won't try it.  There is no arguing, arm twisting, negotiation etc.

Disclaimer: this doesn't work for 100% of children, especially if there are special needs.  But from the way your describe your situation, and how lunch has already improved, it sounds like normal childhood pickiness here.[/quote]

This is OP. Thank you! I have read her book and that's the approach we started with when my oldest was a toddler. We stuck with it for awhile, but what do you do when your kid almost ALWAYS eats only bread and NEVER tries the fruits or vegetables or foods outside their comfort zone? Like, never. My oldest is better and I almost never say anything about what he eats. But even he never eats the fruits or vegetables on offer at dinner and still won't touch anything with ground beef in it. Or when we have breakfast for dinner they have nothing but pancakes and don't touch the sausage, fruit, or eggs. Do at some point you say no more pancakes until you eat the rest of your food?[/quote]

I’m the PP… I would definitely say that to my kids. I have seen so many kids end up with chronic constipation and needing to take Miralax daily due to Ellen Sattyr-ish philosophy (obviously there are many ways to implement). But I always made clear to my kids, food is for health. Some things we eat not because they are our favorites but because our body needs them to be healthy. They fussed at stages but they now eat all kinds of greens and other veggies not only dutifully but enthusiastically — they genuinely love the taste. I don’t think they would have gotten there if I had caved at the cracker/bread/pasta stage when that was clearly their preferred food. So again, YMMV, but I just don’t agree with kids making all these choices for themselves. We play a big role in shaping how they understand what that choice even means. I don’t think a 2 year old can decide on a healthy diet in the world of processed food we inhabit.[/quote]

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