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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP the best food advice I've ever read has come from Ellyn Satter.  I would highly recommend picking up a book by her and really following it.

Everything she does is based on the division of responsibility.  You decide what to serve & when, and your child decides IF and how much to eat.  Her approach includes ensuring there is a plain carb on the table plus milk so that kids can manage if they don't want to try anything else.

The key is just dropping the rope, and not commenting on their food choices.  That means no coaxing, as well as no praise.  It needs to be neutral.

I follow her advice pretty closely, including serving a small portion of dessert with dinner and not having any negotiations at all around whether they get it.  It's a small portion so they can't fill up on it.  One of my sons always eats it first, and the other saves it until the end.

One of the main reasons I recommend her is that dinner has never been a battle in our house. The kids don't feel anxious about what's being served, or shamed when they won't try it.  There is no arguing, arm twisting, negotiation etc.

Disclaimer: this doesn't work for 100% of children, especially if there are special needs.  But from the way your describe your situation, and how lunch has already improved, it sounds like normal childhood pickiness here.[/quote]

This is OP. Thank you! I have read her book and that's the approach we started with when my oldest was a toddler. We stuck with it for awhile, but what do you do when your kid almost ALWAYS eats only bread and NEVER tries the fruits or vegetables or foods outside their comfort zone? Like, never. My oldest is better and I almost never say anything about what he eats. But even he never eats the fruits or vegetables on offer at dinner and still won't touch anything with ground beef in it. Or when we have breakfast for dinner they have nothing but pancakes and don't touch the sausage, fruit, or eggs. Do at some point you say no more pancakes until you eat the rest of your food?[/quote]

My oldest is 7 and just now seems to get the idea of a balanced meal after years of matter of factly talking about the different things we get from different foods. My kids both have some significant issues so we are committed to not making food a battle but my BEST tip is to offer a fruit or vegetable appetizer before meals. They don’t have to wait but it’s like a whole separate course that is offered when they are hungriest. I also allow fruits and vegetables any time of day but carbs are more during designated snack or meal times[/quote]

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