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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here- thank you. I don't think anyone ever really gets over abuse, no matter how much therapy- we just learn to control our reactions to certain situations. I didn't do that last night even though I knew there was no purpose in lashing out.

I struggle with my mom because, as I've had my own experiences, I realize that my core emotions are pity and anger- both are uncomfortable and make me want to have very little contact with her, which makes me feel guilty!

My mom has *no* concern for me, or my family, or my marriage, or my own health and finances, not if she had to choose between what she wants and what is good for me..and her needing support that will require enormous resources of time, energy, money is scary! [/quote]

The guilt is an artifact from your dysfunctional childhood. You are in an unfortunate position because it seems like you feel obligated to help someone who has done f@ckall for you, even when she was supposed to be taking care of you. You'll find some empathy and support here, but you will also be told to "get therapy" or "grow up". There are quite a few people around here who are actively harming their kids and ACOD are like the ghost of Christmas future, but instead of changing their ways, they double down.[/quote]

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