Reply to I said some things to my mom

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[quote=Anonymous]I would highly recommend therapy.

I have a complicated family of origin dynamic with lots of mental illness and narcissistic behavior.  Therapy has benefited me tremendously.  It takes years to unravel how the challenging dynamics of a family treating you poorly play out in the rest of your life.  Getting started on the work of coming to peace with your past will help you and everyone around you.

I hate to say this, but I think you kind of asked for this.  I understand that you're not going to help your mom when she gets older, but I'm not clear why you needed to bring this up right now.  Deal with problems and challenges as you move forward, as they happen.  It seems unnecessarily confrontational to bring it up now, before it's a problem.  For all you know she'll have a heart attack in two weeks and the issue of stairs will never come up.

No matter how good or bad our family relationships were, dealing with aging parents is emotionally fraught and complex.  Especially for those of us who deal with anxiety, it's easy to worry in advance.  But ultimately it really doesn't help anyone.

I wish you peace.  I hope you can forgive yourself and ultimately your mom for an flaws and challenges you've each contributed to.  Most of all, I'm sorry your endured abuse at the hands of your family.  [/quote]

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