Reply to What’s it like loving an avoidant?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The more you show them love, the more they withdraw. So the only way to feel reciprocal love is to pull back. It’s tiring. [/quote]

It's SO tiring. It also always has to be on their terms - the expression and amount expressed. My SO knows it's difficult though, so he is very appreciative that I stick with him. [b]He also has some fears from growing up [/b]that seem to make him test me - like he wants to really be sure I won't leave him or stop loving him. Took a long time to understand that this wasn't about me but his comfort with intense feelings and fear of losing control.[/quote]

Avoidant attachment styles stem from neglect/abuse in childhood. They are directly related.[/quote]

What about those that are attracted to avoidants?[/quote]

Could be the same

But also could be independent and empaths.  As the former you don’t need a ton of attention or handholding, you’re quite capable. As an empath you give the benefit of the doubt for bad behavior, possibly too much. As both you might miss the patterns and signals or keep trying to make it work or trying to accommodate. But you’ll realize sooner than others, something is majorly wrong. But that might be a matter of years and a marriage or kid later…[/quote]

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