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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.  I feel like I'm having a crisis.  I'm not sure if it's because I'm in a bad state of depression and I've taken a darker, negative perspective.  Or if I am having a moment of clarity in the mental fog I have been living in all my life. But it suddenly appears as though that for my mom, the only purpose of my existence is to serve her - with time, attention, love, money, care, help and to not have any problems of my own that will distract from this purpose.  She literally knows nothing about me or my life.  She knows nothing about my children. She doesn't know how old they are or what grade they are in.

I've been telling myself, as much as she drives me crazy sometimes, my mom is a good person, and she loves me very much, and she's doing her best with what she knows, she sacrificed so much for me.  In my sibling's eyes, my mom can do no wrong, so I often think there's something wrong with me when I get frustrated with her - that I'm a bad person for not loving and accepting my mom the way I should. In the past, she has obsessively worried about me - it was diabolical.  She said it was because she cared. I told her to stop caring.  She obliged.  The frantic phone calls stopped.

She's estranged with her brothers and sisters.  She thinks they're all selfish and they are all takers.  The only one she has a relationship is with a person who has mental health issues and their relationship is very dysfunctional.  Her sisters hold resentment from past hurts from long ago.  She has many friends though, but she often says they all exhaust her because they just go on and on about their own problems and don't seem to care about hers.  [/quote]

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