Reply to Hints for dealing with parents in elderly unfriendly home

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[quote=Anonymous]Are they reasonable people? Do they still have cognitive skills in tact? Have you brought it up yet? You can try to reason with them as adults making it clear they are the parents and they get to make their own decisions. You can express your concern and love for them. Do not treat them like children.

If they refuse and are of sound mind all you can do it make clear your concern and spell out your boundaries of what you can and cannot do. As others have said on here, you must make sure they don't harm others with their poor choices (e.g. driving when unable to see well), but you cannot save them from themselves. People cognitively able are allowed to make their own decision no matter how poor. You can try to get an eldercare professional involved. you can try many things, but in the end you have to respect their wishes. If they fall you remind yourself it was on their own terms. You only rush to their side if you truly can and you remind yourself you made your personal boundaries clear. I drove myself insane trying to force my parents to make better decisions and they still made poor decisions. I just had to stop rushing into rescue and let them deal with consequences until cognitively unable.[/quote]

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