Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you put a chairlift on the stairs? For the steep driveway, cut stair into it and put in a lift there too?

That's a lot of effort when with one hip break or other major fall the person may need to go to rehabilitation and then residential. Plus, how will you one day cell a house on a hill with a chairlift on the driveway? I have never seen this. If there is an HOA, good luck getting approval. If there isn't neighbors may be angry about the eyesore and if it decreases their home value, they can take legal action.

Also, by the time you find a contractor to do this and the work actually gets done and paid for, the situation could be totally different. things change in an instant with the elderly. One bad fall or bout with illness and an able bodied person is totally disabled. One surgery and someone with mild or no dementia is suddenly moderate post surgery. You can throw endless money and keep doing remodeling at the home and next thing you know you haven't finished age proofing and they have to be moved a full time care place ASAP. They you have a house in the middle of renovations that is empty and will not sell.

Yikes ok we get it you don’t like the idea

Dp, but honestly they are correct. Someone in their mid-80s isn’t going to be improving. Falls are very damaging, and it will be difficult to remove the fall risk from this home. I understand their impulse to not move, but for most people it is better to move to a suitable interim solution than to retrofit a house for circumstances that are prone to changing at any time.

This. It’s not worth it. My parents are in this process and it was kind of working until it suddenly isn’t.

You’re assuming they’ll never leave. I’d start planting the seed of independent living. At some point, the challenges of staying in their house may not seem worth it.

Can you find a great independent living place? I’d be doing the legwork so that you have possibilities in mind.

Anonymous wrote:It’s not going to get better. There are some very nice multi-step elderly housing programs that can improve their quality of life. I’ve got a family member in one of the Erickson Living homes and it honestly is a very nice place. She had her own apartment with a kitchen. She was able to bring in her own familiar furniture. She had a second bedroom for the grandkids to use when they stay over. She can cook for herself if she wants, or she can go to the dining room or cafeteria. Doctors are onsite, there’s an exercise room, a pool, library, and all sorts of programs.

If they have a decent amount of money, something like that could be a good solution. I would do some research into options in their area. Find ones that are suitable. Work on showing them brochures and taking them for a visit. Right now the alternatives are unknown to them and sound bad. Find specific places that you and your siblings can sell them on.

They won’t consider this at all. Our best hope is moving them to one level home, i.e. downsizing, with a space for health care aide down the road.

Their current house cannot be expanded (nor would we want to, it is already a very large home) to allow for first floor living and the lot is very large (several acres) and driveway is accordingly quite long too. Moving them out is really the only option for them “aging in place.”

Anonymous wrote:Can you put a chairlift on the stairs? For the steep driveway, cut stair into it and put in a lift there too?

No to both,

Anonymous wrote:Do you have enough room around the home to level out some of the steeper areas and add an addition that is one level with a full handicap accessible bath, small kitchen, open concept, doorways wide enough for wheelchairs, ramps for wheelchair to get inside or optional garage addition that’s flat with remainder of addition? So they aren’t moving out of current home, that probably won’t happen. Don’t force them to use the addition, they will recognize when it’sneeded, just get it set up and ready for when they are ready. Almost like an attached in law apartment but designed to fit your future needs. Maybe add laundry and an additional small bedroom in case you require in home care taker that needs to be close by.

Is OP truly going to build a 300k addition on someone else’s home against their will?

Do you have enough room around the home to level out some of the steeper areas and add an addition that is one level with a full handicap accessible bath, small kitchen, open concept, doorways wide enough for wheelchairs, ramps for wheelchair to get inside or optional garage addition that’s flat with remainder of addition? So they aren’t moving out of current home, that probably won’t happen. Don’t force them to use the addition, they will recognize when it’sneeded, just get it set up and ready for when they are ready. Almost like an attached in law apartment but designed to fit your future needs. Maybe add laundry and an additional small bedroom in case you require in home care taker that needs to be close by.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you put a chairlift on the stairs? For the steep driveway, cut stair into it and put in a lift there too?

That's a lot of effort when with one hip break or other major fall the person may need to go to rehabilitation and then residential. Plus, how will you one day cell a house on a hill with a chairlift on the driveway? I have never seen this. If there is an HOA, good luck getting approval. If there isn't neighbors may be angry about the eyesore and if it decreases their home value, they can take legal action.

Also, by the time you find a contractor to do this and the work actually gets done and paid for, the situation could be totally different. things change in an instant with the elderly. One bad fall or bout with illness and an able bodied person is totally disabled. One surgery and someone with mild or no dementia is suddenly moderate post surgery. You can throw endless money and keep doing remodeling at the home and next thing you know you haven't finished age proofing and they have to be moved a full time care place ASAP. They you have a house in the middle of renovations that is empty and will not sell.

Yikes ok we get it you don’t like the idea

Dp, but honestly they are correct. Someone in their mid-80s isn’t going to be improving. Falls are very damaging, and it will be difficult to remove the fall risk from this home. I understand their impulse to not move, but for most people it is better to move to a suitable interim solution than to retrofit a house for circumstances that are prone to changing at any time.

My parents are not quite this bad yet, but we are headed that direction. They are refusing to leave my childhood home and are living across four levels

For now they are making do by hiring help (Housekeeper so they don’t have to do laundry in the basement, grocery delivery so they don’t have to do the stairs with groceries, etc).

Ultimately, I’d like them to do work to the house so that they are on a main level master bedroom.

Sam home elderly aide/nursing help might buy you some time? Like if there was a helper there for a few hours a day maybe that person would be able to help them walk to the car instead of navigating ice by themselves or run errands for them

It’s not going to get better. There are some very nice multi-step elderly housing programs that can improve their quality of life. I’ve got a family member in one of the Erickson Living homes and it honestly is a very nice place. She had her own apartment with a kitchen. She was able to bring in her own familiar furniture. She had a second bedroom for the grandkids to use when they stay over. She can cook for herself if she wants, or she can go to the dining room or cafeteria. Doctors are onsite, there’s an exercise room, a pool, library, and all sorts of programs.

If they have a decent amount of money, something like that could be a good solution. I would do some research into options in their area. Find ones that are suitable. Work on showing them brochures and taking them for a visit. Right now the alternatives are unknown to them and sound bad. Find specific places that you and your siblings can sell them on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you put a chairlift on the stairs? For the steep driveway, cut stair into it and put in a lift there too?

That's a lot of effort when with one hip break or other major fall the person may need to go to rehabilitation and then residential. Plus, how will you one day cell a house on a hill with a chairlift on the driveway? I have never seen this. If there is an HOA, good luck getting approval. If there isn't neighbors may be angry about the eyesore and if it decreases their home value, they can take legal action.

Also, by the time you find a contractor to do this and the work actually gets done and paid for, the situation could be totally different. things change in an instant with the elderly. One bad fall or bout with illness and an able bodied person is totally disabled. One surgery and someone with mild or no dementia is suddenly moderate post surgery. You can throw endless money and keep doing remodeling at the home and next thing you know you haven't finished age proofing and they have to be moved a full time care place ASAP. They you have a house in the middle of renovations that is empty and will not sell.

Yikes ok we get it you don’t like the idea

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you put a chairlift on the stairs? For the steep driveway, cut stair into it and put in a lift there too?

That's a lot of effort when with one hip break or other major fall the person may need to go to rehabilitation and then residential. Plus, how will you one day cell a house on a hill with a chairlift on the driveway? I have never seen this. If there is an HOA, good luck getting approval. If there isn't neighbors may be angry about the eyesore and if it decreases their home value, they can take legal action.

Also, by the time you find a contractor to do this and the work actually gets done and paid for, the situation could be totally different. things change in an instant with the elderly. One bad fall or bout with illness and an able bodied person is totally disabled. One surgery and someone with mild or no dementia is suddenly moderate post surgery. You can throw endless money and keep doing remodeling at the home and next thing you know you haven't finished age proofing and they have to be moved a full time care place ASAP. They you have a house in the middle of renovations that is empty and will not sell.

Anonymous wrote:Can you put a chairlift on the stairs? For the steep driveway, cut stair into it and put in a lift there too?

That's a lot of effort when with one hip break or other major fall the person may need to go to rehabilitation and then residential. Plus, how will you one day cell a house on a hill with a chairlift on the driveway? I have never seen this. If there is an HOA, good luck getting approval. If there isn't neighbors may be angry about the eyesore and if it decreases their home value, they can take legal action.

Are they reasonable people? Do they still have cognitive skills in tact? Have you brought it up yet? You can try to reason with them as adults making it clear they are the parents and they get to make their own decisions. You can express your concern and love for them. Do not treat them like children.

If they refuse and are of sound mind all you can do it make clear your concern and spell out your boundaries of what you can and cannot do. As others have said on here, you must make sure they don't harm others with their poor choices (e.g. driving when unable to see well), but you cannot save them from themselves. People cognitively able are allowed to make their own decision no matter how poor. You can try to get an eldercare professional involved. you can try many things, but in the end you have to respect their wishes. If they fall you remind yourself it was on their own terms. You only rush to their side if you truly can and you remind yourself you made your personal boundaries clear. I drove myself insane trying to force my parents to make better decisions and they still made poor decisions. I just had to stop rushing into rescue and let them deal with consequences until cognitively unable.

Can you put a chairlift on the stairs? For the steep driveway, cut stair into it and put in a lift there too?

My parents are in their mid 80s and currently live in childhood home. It is built on a hill and hassteep driveway and two sets of steep stairs. Both parents have fallen on ice in driveway and one can barely make it up stairs due to mobility issues

Money is not an issue. My siblings and I have not discussed nursing home/assisted living because know they would never go. Trying to get them to downsize to one level loving single family with room for nursing help when needed. So far, no luck. Any suggestions?