Reply to My Demanding Narc Mom

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How often do you actually see her, not counting the hospital visit type situations?[/quote]

This is a poster who doesn't get it. I have a similar mother and it's a common scenario with these types. One social worker told me with some it doesn't matter if you see them daily, weekly, monthly or yearly, it's the same complaints. Don't play the game. Don't engage with the crazy.

You figure out what works for you and accept she cannot be pleased. I went the route of trying to have empathy for mom for years and it just made me more vulnerable to manipulation and it impacted my health. If she acts up, have an excuse to leave and see her less. If she cries wolf with emergencies and time and again it's nothing, stop responding. I know that sounds harsh, but it just reinforces it if she gets to see you with every fake emergency. If there is money there, use a service and hire an aide to be with her at the ER. If she is admitted you can get a sense of it is real and then go visit, but stop letting her hijack your life with BS. If she lectures you about being a bad daughter, exit stage left.

I learned I could bend over backwards and make myself miserable and mom would be unappreciative and demanding. I could do nothing and mom would be the same. So I decided I would do my best to be in her life and treat her with respect, but every time I got disrespect in return I would pull back more.[/quote]

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