Reply to My Demanding Narc Mom

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[quote=Anonymous]This is a vent, mostly but can anyone tell me I’m not alone and you are going through something similar?

My 85 year old widowed mom is currently angry at me and my other local sibling because we aren’t spending enough time with her. She’s claiming that her peers and friends who live in a nearby assisted living community warned her  that “eventually your adult children and grandchildren get consumed with their own lives and disengage” (and hence, why these women live in assisted living). She recently told me that I spend “far too much time worrying about my DC away at college” (and not enough time with her).

She follows a pattern where during a period where she is being “ignored” will end up in an ER with vague symptoms and sibling or I will scramble to drive her post discharge and to follow up appointments.

I have a career, a marriage and one DC in college and another in HS. My sibling is now an empty nester.

Our mom has always followed this pattern: constant need for attention and forced family gatherings. Becomes disappointed if she can’t get entire family together. Needs to be constantly entertained, yet proclaims she will never go to assisted living and wishes to live in her home.

Score keeps: which sibling and grandchild has called vs. not called in X days. She never calls us. [/quote]

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