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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think traditional Asian families tend to care for their elderly parents at home, if at all possible. It seems only Americans are eager to quickly find ‘a place for mom’ institution. Unless absolutely necessary, the American way is tragic.[/quote]

Ugh, don’t fall for the myth that home is always better than being in a facility. I’m in lots of family caregiver groups and the stress and resentment towards parents is so high. And many of the children caregivers are late 50’s to well into their 60’s. They have their own health issues. And many are worried they are going to die before their parents because of the stress and no time to take care of their own health. [/quote]

+1,000 Same experience.It can also stress a marriage to the brink unless it's a mild mannered and appreciative parent. In other cases, it's better and more healthy for the brain to be in situations where you connect with peers and have to keep using social skills. Feeling safe to be abusive, demanding and entitled  and then rotting in front of the TV is not good exercise for the brain. Again, it really depends on the personality of the elder, but if if the person was always or has become toxic, it causes too much erosion and damage to the family system and the cost is the mental and physical health of not just the caregiver adult children, but also potentially the grandchildren. You don't want to teach children that abuse is OK if it comes from family. You teach children boundaries and problem solving.[/quote]

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