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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Does your brother live close enough to meet you at your mother's AL? The three of you should have an in-person meeting where everyone sees all the financial docs. Full transparency. Your brother should bring pricing from cheaper AL options and let your mother choose which would work best for her, even though it sounds like she's in a good place. Tell them both you hate that money is coming between your loving relationships and you wish to move forward.[/quote]

I think this is a good idea.  OP, try to see this in terms of what you want for the future.  I don't think you want your mom to die with this still hanging over your relationship.

The other thing I will say, as the daughter of a 94 year old, is that as my mom got older, her mind started to go a little.  She became a little more paranoid, a little more subject to conspiracy theories.  It started a little in her 70s and now that she's in her 90s she still has her mind but she is a shell of her former self.  It doesn't really get easier.  But you do want her to trust you, I think, so I would get everything out in the open and repair what you have/had, if you can.

Your brother is another story.  Once trust there is lost, I'm not sure you can truly come back from that, or would want to.  I have a brother kind of like that, but less aggressively against me.  I will never trust him again, but I am outwardly kind to him and sociable.  I just won't ever trust him with important parts of my life again, or treat him as a true friend.

I'm sorry, OP, and good luck![/quote]

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