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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do yours assume they can? Do you talk about it all through high school or after?

One of my teens is a very difficult person to parent and often a difficult person to be around. The other younger teen is easy going, level and pleasant. These have been their temperaments since birth.

[b]The thing is, I don't want to allow older teen to continue living here. They are a high source of stress and household tension. I want younger teen to have some space. Try as I may to properly parent, bring in resources, give whatever I can, they are set on their chosen path. I can't expend myself to them indefinitely, it's difficult and depressing.[/b] I feel it's my responsibility to try at least until they're 18.

At one point I did imagine both kids would live at home during post secondary. Now I know that likely is not viable. At what point do you leave it up to them to figure out their own life/job/options? Do you have conversations starting in gr.11? gr.12?

Anyone else feel flat out no to the thought of their teens continuing to live at home? Some people have their adult 22-25 year olds still at home and it seems to work well and everyone seems happy. [/quote]

Can I give you some advice, OP? Try to stop thinking about when your older kid will leave the house and address these issues now.

I'm sure you are a very good parent. Parenting is typically very difficult and the teenage years are typically the hardest. But you can make some changes to address this situation and make your life better now, rather than just white-knuckling it until you oldest is out of the picture.

It sounds like whatever you're doing right now isn't working. It may have worked before, and it may work for others, but right now it's not working for your family. I don't know the specifics of your life but I would guess you need to find ways to a) guard your energy and peace and b) find a way for your younger child to have some space. I seriously cannot recommend therapy enough. I think a good therapist focused on skills like setting boundaries (rather than a therapist who focuses on emotion processing or anxiety management or something) would do wonders for you and your family and you'd see positive changes in a matter of months. [/quote]

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