Reply to Helping DS, 8, make peace with not being one of the popular boys.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Agree with the PP teacher that for ES boys, being sporty and outgoing is pretty much a guarantee of popularity. OP, is soccer one of the sports your son has tried? If he’s a decent athlete, his size won’t hold him back at all as a soccer player, and it is fun for kids to play at recess

Agree with others that he should focus on activities that he loves and that play to his strengths, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with working on learning to be good at a sport at the same time. [/quote]

These two posters are correct. The athletic boys are and will continue to be the popular ones. And it actually doesn't even out, as you predict, ever. And many of those athletic (why does everyone say "sporty?) boys are also smart. The message I eventually gave my kids is that some kids just live a charmed life. They were born with great genes and also work hard to make the most of the strengths they were born with. The best thing you can do is the same--work hard, be the best person you can be. The worst parents are the ones who try to convince their kids that athletic kids aren't as smart, or are insecure, or whatever negative attribute they want to project onto the charmed kids just to make themselves and their kids feel better. And a last piece of advice OP--are you sure your kid cares as much as you think he does? You say it hurts you to see it. He probably picks up on your feelings about it. You may want to examine who actually cares more. I don't say this as a criticism. There are definitely times at which I probably cared more about that stuff than my kids did. [/quote]

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