Reply to What are examples of “enmeshed “ and why does it seem to have a negative connotation?

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[quote=Anonymous]Yes, PPs are right -- it's the failure to have healthy boundaries and making one another responsible for emotions. Sometimes it flows both ways, with both parent and adult child failing to set boundaries,, sometimes it only flows one way, where one person gets to have boundaries and the other doesn't.

Examples:

A parent sharing intense mental health problems with their adult child, making the child feel responsible for the their parent's mental health issues. I'm not talking about a situation where a parent asks an adult child for help with finding treatment or support in getting treatment for mental health problems. If the parent is taking responsibility for their own mental health but asking for support, that demonstrates good boundaries. I'm talking about a parent who will call their adult child to talk about feeling depressed or even suicidal, who guilts their child out of doing things for themselves so they can stay and take care of the parent, etc. This is an example of role reversal where an adult child is expected to become the parent to their parent.

Enmeshment often takes the form of parents forming alliances with children against other family members. So a parent might form an alliance with an adult child against the other parent, creating a dynamic where the parent and adult child bully or intimidate the other parent into things, or criticize or ostracize them. A parent might also form an alliance with one child against another.

There are lots of other examples. Enmeshment refers to a type of family dysfunction where family roles are reversed or twisted, often to serve one person's needs above others, and to the detriment of others.[/quote]

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