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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DC is 12, who gets to decide?  We need to all agree?
Anyone had similar issues here? [/quote]

My ex is bipolar.  I was afraid he would block treatment.  IME, some doctors and therapists require the consent of both parents, and some don't.  I shopped around.

Legally, I believe either of you can consent to medical treatment for the child.  If you are divorced, and the custody agreements stipulates something about parental consent to medical treatment, then you have to follow that.

Of course, we lived separately and I had full custody and my own money, so it was easy for me to take DC to the doctor for treatment without my ex knowing.  Maybe harder to hide if you are still married.

IME, it was more important for my child to get evaluated and treated than to protect any misbeliefs or fragile ego his dad had.

Evaluation told me not only what DC's weaknesses and diagnoses were, it also told me his strengths.  I was honestly surprised to find out that DC had a very high IQ and talents in one particular area.  Knew he was smart but not that smart - so the moral is that the psycho-ed evaluation can tell you positive things and well as problems.  Knowing this positive thing about him changed our decisions about his education and gave him opportunities he wouldn't have otherwise had, which had a huge positive impact on him.

FWIW, agree with PP that ADHD isn't really classed as a mental illness, but a developmental disorder, I think.  Anxiety is a mental disorder, but IME, (my DC also has ADHD), untreated and unaccommodated ADHD can cause anxiety.  Imagine if you had a sprained ankle and everyone kept insisting you do a 50 yard dash like normal every day -- you'd be anxious too![/quote]

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