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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How do you know they still love you?[/quote]

Yeah, that jumped out at me, too.

OP, if you "know" this because you and the AP are still in ANY form of contact at all, you know you need to end that yesterday, right?

If you "know" this because you just feel it in your gut, you know that's your own desire talking and not any actual guarantee that your former AP still loves you, right?

And you know, in either case, that even if your former AP still craves you and vice versa, none of that "love" (read: desire, attraction, sexual pull) [i]matters[/i], right? Not if you want to keep your family intact and adhere to the vows you decided to try keeping.

Still haven't seen a reply about whether you have had any therapy, OP. You are in a very dangerous mind-set right now, this minute. You need to distract the hell out yourself, double down on your kids and spouse, and absolutely do not put yourself in the position of seeing the AP even accidentally from a distance. If you have kids at the same school or run in the same social circles etc., and you still run into AP, you have to figure out how to ensure that never happens. Sorry, it's tough, but you do. I hope that at least you don't have kids in the same activities/schools where you will run into each other. If you do, you might need to come clean to your spouse so that your spouse will comprehend why you need to avoid this person 100 percent of the time. Terrible position to be in but it might become necessary. This is why you need a third party professional like a therapist to get you past this, so you can live your life without pining for the idealized world of the affair and the idealized AP. Maybe you will get past that enough you won't have to tell your spouse but you need to move fast and hard to stamp out this "I love the AP, the AP loves me" thinking. [/quote]

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