Reply to Is it normal to make fun of other people’s children?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would never do this with friends.

I have one friend who does talk about kids with very poor behavior. She tries to avoid the bad kids.[/quote]

Yeah, this isn't better. My SIL l-- and unfortunately now my (just now adult) nieces-- have made this the family pastime. I guess it didn't strike me as quite so repellant and unflattering (to my SIL) when I was younger and before I had kids (she's been my SIL for 25 years-- my kid is only 10). But it is really gross and reeks of insecurity. She gossips and complains about other people's parenting and the kids themselves, using really judgmental language. Part of it is almost affectionate at times, when she talks about her (blood) nieces and nephews. Like let me tell you about this appalling behavior and how indulgent and bad my brother and his wife are (applies to two different brothers), but with a tiny bit of indirect "the kid's got spunk" in there. So I used to think it was sort of a cultural (Midwest white) or family cultural thing. But it's... not. She's severely, severely judgmental. And I KNOW she talks sh!t about my own kid (also her niece!) and my parenting behind my back. If I didn't, it wouldn't be hard to guess! I've never heard of a single kid or parent escaping unscathed. There's always something to pick on.

Rather than the occasional hint of affection demonstrating that this is just her way of intentionally not letting anyone get too big for their britches (as if she doesn't really mean it, and she sure does love them!), I think it demonstrates that she does care about the kids, of course, on some level-- but it's compulsive with her. She's basically-- sadly-- pretty miserable. And she will sometimes admit to her own faults as a parent, too. She's actually a decent and even good mom in most respects and her kids are great, but she's filled with shame and cannot stop putting others down.

Oh, and she's a teacher! Naturally.

I don't have to stand for her behavior, though, and I won't. I walk away and I avoid allowing my kid to listen to it.[/quote]

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