Reply to I’m getting a lot of pressure to name my baby names I hate.

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[quote=Anonymous]Agree with PPs, you have no obligation to use your FIL's name and specifically you should not give your child a name you don't like. Don't do it! It is not reasonable they would expect it, and they are likely a bit blinded by grief for your FIL and not really thinking about how this feels from your perspective.

I think the thing to do is divide and conquer on this issue. Accept your MIL is going to push for this name, politely tell her you will keep the name in the running (but don't).

Then, privately and gently explain to your husband that although you want to honor your FIL, you don't feel connected to this name and it doesn't feel right to you.

Also, and this is very important: did you take your DH's name when you married and, even if you did not, will the child have his last name? If so, that's how you honor your FIL and you should highlight that. People often take it for granted that a child will have the father and grandfather's last name. It's not a given. That is an important and powerful way to pass on a grandparent's legacy, and it shouldn't be treated as a foregone conclusion. It would not be fair to you for your child to get your DH"s last name and the first name of his choosing, from his family. This is your baby. You absolutely deserve to choose a name you love because you want it for your child, and not simply accept a name others love out of obligation.

Agree with PP -- stand strong.[/quote]

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