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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We've always made less and still managed to have a family and be happy. Something else is going on.[/quote]

Yes. She's materialistic and has expectations he can't ever meet. Even if he earns more, it won't be enough. Now, it's "house and kid." Once she gets those, it will be "better school for kid" or whatever else is the next step on her ladder of expectations.

OP, you said you married "someone I thought was smart and interesting." Really? Was he interesting to YOU, or do you mean that you figured he was smart and interesting enough to make good dough despite his liberal arts degree? (And I see you. You just had to toss in "liberal arts" with a whiff of disdain.) Is there anything about him you actually like and love that trumps any house or income level? Because if there is, it does not come across in your post. At all.

"I have a lot of anxiety and sadness about wasted time in a marriage where my dreams were not possible. I feel so bitter and angry, at myself and him." Yet you say nothing about whether you enjoy being with him, share interests in common, have values in common (I suspect not, as yours seem rooted in money), have any fun together, confide in each other, worry about each others' happiness....Nope, nothing. If all your anxiety and sadness is over not having a house and not being in the income bracket you deem acceptable, the issue is you.

Are you both putting off having a child until you achieve a single family home, or is that just you? Have you ever done self reflection or gotten therapy to figure out why you cannot comprehend living on the income you describe, and doing so very happily? Because many, many people live on less, don't own a home, and have children. Oh, and love their spouses as people, and treat the marriage as a partnership, not a transaction where one party is wrong if he or she does not provide the expected income and living situation. Your values are skewed.[/quote]

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