Reply to Anyone have a DC that was poorly prepared, esp. regarding study skills, get into STA MS and do well?

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Reply to "Anyone have a DC that was poorly prepared, esp. regarding study skills, get into STA MS and do well?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DH teaches at an all-boys high school. He teaches 3-4 grade levels and says most 9th/10th grade boys have pretty poor study/organizational habits. I'd make sure he actually wants to go there because if not, it's not going to end well.[/quote]

OP, I have a son like this at another big 3. In hindsight, I'm not sure the school was the best choice for him, although he has liked it and has received a very good education. But his grades have never reflected that, because he - like your son - just doesn't put in the effort. I thought that would change when he got to HS, but I'm betting that what you see now is pretty much what you've got.

Your son will find his group of like-minded underachievers - there are some at every school, even STA. No question that this is a better group for him to be around that the underachievers at a most public schools, so take some comfort in that. However, you - and he - are going to have years ahead of a pressure cooker environment where he simply refuses to play along. As a parent, this can be maddening, but you quickly learn that you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink, as the saying goes. Extra help, study skills classes, etc are of no use unless he wants them and guess what - kids like this usually don't.

I would suggest that you redefine what you mean by "do well" at STA. [/quote]

Agree with this poster 100% and she puts it well.  I will add that in my experience the "reluctance to study and/or apply oneself" gets much worse before it gets better. It worries me that your son is like this already and he's just entering 6th or 7th grade.  What typically happens is a boy hits his true academic apathy when teenage hormones set in--in 9th/10th.  If your kid is already like this at a younger age I shudder to think that he will be like in 2 years.  I don't think I've ever seen a boy get MORE motivated during later middle school. 
I also very much agree with the term "maddening".  It is indeed maddening because there's not one darn thing you can do to foster a love of learning or motivation in a kid and the older they get, the less control you have. By 9th grade you have almost no control
at all.  I have a boy who joined STA at 9th and it's been a non-stop struggle. He is brilliant but just doesn't care.  We battle and battle and he underachieves.  He was highly motivated in 6th and 7th and then it just disappeared.  In retrospect I wish I had put him in a less pressure-cooker place.  he was accepted to St Johns and Landon and probably should have gone to one of those places. Life for both he and us (his parents) would have been SO much more pleasant. The battles are horrible. [/quote]

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