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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's very rare for narcs to go to therapy. You can certainly bring it up and if he is willing to go-fantastic. They often will make fun of the whole concept and complain you are crazy and all therapists are crazy.

There is a lot of narcissism in my family and I use gray rock to interact. The worst thing you can do is take any bait, defend or explain. If you do plan to divorce, I would make sure you are in therapy so you have regular support and strategies to deal with co-parenting.

As for 7:32's post, I do agree you should not tell your kids dad is a "covert narcissist" or drag them into your issues in any way. However, 7:32 is wrong. Narcissism is real and it causes a lot of damage. Writing "The only people go down these internet narcissism rabbit holes are usually mentally ill themselves" is classic narc talk.  It's a way to gaslight you. Ignore it.[/quote]

No. True narcissism is rare. A bunch of aggrieved people on the internet have made up terms like “covert narcissist” to try to make sense of their bad relationships. A psychologist would never diagnose someone as a “covert narcissist.”[/quote]

Here's an article about covert narcissists that was reviewed by a doctor (PhD, PsyD): https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/covert-narcissist. Are you a PhD, PsyD?

It is estimated that 10-13 percent of the population has some kind of personality disorder; so, not so rare. The reason it's become an internet phenomenon is because these personality disordered people cause so much misery in relationships, their victims look everywhere for answers, including the internet. It might seem disproportionate, but it's really not when you consider that PDs are the source of so many relationship problems.

I'm sure there are some people out there who aren't correct in their armchair diagnoses of family members. However, for MANY people, the shock of recognition when they read about narcissism is a starting point on the way to better mental health. So I think, the more it's talked about, the better.

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NPD is a real disorder, recognized by medical professionals. People like you invented all the other kinds of "narcissists" to "explain away" friends/relatives/partners who won't do exactly what the offended person wants them to do. Look at the way OP says "is there a way to get THEM into therapy?" Like her husband is some kind of different species instead of a person she is married to who might be legitimately angry at her. If anything, the only thing I can see wrong with her husband from the post is that he needs anger management.

Also, I can tell you just have relationship problems in general because you said "a lot of people" in your family have narcissism. Um, no they don't. It sounds like you are just hard to get along with and you've explained away your myriad relationship problems by calling everyone else a narcissist.[/quote]

Actually when there's an NPD in a family there's often more than one ... children of NPDs are at risk of being NPDs. Children of NPDs may also be at risk of marrying NPDs because it's the dynamic that they know. I'm a DP from the one who said there is "a lot of" narcissists in her family, but I find it believable.

What I don't find believable are the people who seem to have an outsized interest in "debunking" a disorder that is in the books.

I believe that "lots of" people struggle with others with PDs--maybe 1 out of 10 people has a PD, and that 1 person interacts with and has relationships with many more people. So "lots of" people are dealing with a PD person, and maybe a smaller minority mistakenly think so.

Of course then there's the propensity of a narcissist to project his own issues onto his family member. "You're a narcissist!" "No, you're the narcissist." So sure, it's can be confusing, but I don't see any problem with people trying to figure out their issues and get feedback from others on message boards.

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