Reply to Spouse with Borderline Personality Disorder (vent)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't understand....[/quote]

Me either.  The cause and effect relationship implied below is unclear.

[quote]He just had to come up behind me and say things that twist a knife in my gut so he could go meet friends and be charming.[/quote][/quote]

These people tend to be narcissistic and yes, charming.  So what's said behind closed doors isn't necessarily shared with the world, as they tend to have two very distinct personalities.  My ex was charming and very outgoing.  Furthermore, he was so well connected that he continued to climb in the legal field.  Little did people know what an asshole he was (and still is, I'm convinced).

They are good at putting you down, making fun of you, tearing away at any self-esteem you may have.  It's odd. Thankfully, I could walk away b/c it definitely was nothing I'd ever experienced in the past with family or other personal relationships.  But I did have a friend who would NOT leave her boyfriend at the time.  So she suffered for years under his abuse.

So what they show the world is not how they treat you.  And when they're angry, it's very frightening.  [/quote]

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