Reply to Is there a way to bring up an SO's weight gain without hurting feelings?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Instead of bringing up his weight that way, I would say you truly love him a[b]nd support him no matter what he looks like.[/b] Build up his self esteem and he’ll be more likely to take care of his health.

I have gained weight in the past because of unhealthy choices and I’m so glad my husband never said anything to me about it. Even though I know that I wasn’t objectively as attractive , I never felt less desirable because of the extra pounds. So I could just work on my self-confidence and health without fighting against the shame that comes from hearing that your partner wants you to lose weight. He did say he wanted me to be healthy but I know that’s because he cares about me and doesn’t want me to die early. He never said anything about the number on the scale. And didn’t tell me not to eat donuts, he made me green smoothies and watched the kids while I went to the gym.

I lead a much healthier lifestyle now (I started going to therapy, I quit drinking, and I use exercise to manage anxiety instead of food and alcohol). So I’m thin again. But it feels great to know if I did gain weight again, it wouldn’t impact my relationship. I feel very secure knowing he is there for me no matter my size. [/quote]

NP. NOT OP. Nobody else is this insensitive. How do you say this when it isn't true? I so don't like him fat. What a turnoff for me. He doesn't have to be perfect, but that beer belly is so gross. I used to encourage him to exercise. But then I stopped because it doesn't work. And I definitely don't say anything about food. [/quote]

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