Reply to Any estate executor nightmares? Hoping to not feel so alone.

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[quote=Anonymous]Mother in law died 6 years ago.  Her daughter, my SIL was sole executor.  The estate was messy BC late MIL was sloppy with paperwork. A year after MIL death, estate was no where to being settled and MIL house was getting into foreclosure. We got a panicked call from SIL executor asking us to lend the estate 40k to get the bank off the back. I was very hesitant but my husband (brother of executor) said he trusted his sister.  We lent the estate 40k by paying off the note.  Five years later the SIL executor still has not settled estate, has not sold stocks etc , does not share information and is generally hiding and avoiding us.  We have no idea of the state if anything.  She'd give us the runaround these past few years where she would say that something was in probate and one more form was needed.  But nothing ever came to closure.  I asked my husband starting about two years ago to hire a lawyer to represent us.  Three months ago we finally did and now our lawyer is the only one talking to her.  We are officially estranged now and it broke my hubby's heart that his sister would screw him.  He wouldn't hire a lawyer earlier BC he thought that his sister just needed more time.  (Denial, which he openly admits now).  Our lawyer has been having a hard time getting any info from executor and frankly we don't think we'll ever get 40k back.  At this point we just want closure.  Our lawyer has to start subpoena-ing documents etc. He said he's never seen an estate so mismanaged.  We don't want to sink too much money into a lawyer if there is nothing there. So right now he is just trying to get a handle on seeing if there is anything left and what our best course is.  The emotional stress is huge too, although we have now accepted the fact that my SIL is dishonest.

The sick thing is, is that she's such a hypocrite.  She goes to church weekly and is always posting cliche things on social.media "do unto others", and other bs.  For a little history she has always been secretive and everyone sighed when we found out she was executor. But my hubby was naieve to trust her.  Frankly we will just cut our losses and never speak to her again.  His other two siblings are horrified and disgusted.  They have tried talking to her but she gives them the same vague answers and runaround.  They do t really talk to her anymore.

People suck.  You just don't really think at the end if the day that family would screw you.  40k is a lot to me on a teacher salary.   [/quote]

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