Reply to "Good behaviour" - learned or genetic?

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Reply to ""Good behaviour" - learned or genetic?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

about 10 years ago, I would have agreed with what you are saying.  We are in the age of neurological disorders now.  Try telling someone with an ADD/ADHD/Autistic child that they lack parenting skills and you'll sooner get your teeth knocked out.  You have NO IDEA what it is like to raise kids with neurodysfunction....and it is rampant these days.  1 in 5 kids have a learning disability and the parenting techniques that were used in the 1990s just do not apply to these kids.  [/quote]

I mostly agree with this, but I'll take it further. It doesn't even take an official neurodyfunction to make a kid wiggly. In fact, I worry a little bit about the kind of parent who CAN force a preschooler to sit still for an hour, if the child is not inclined to do so on his own. What sort of pressure do you need to bring to bear on them to so repress their nature?

I have taught my child to say please and thank you, to respect her elders, to wait her turn, to share her toys, etc. That's learned. She is empathetic and articulate-- that's innate, and it made my teaching much easier, and every day I thank my lucky stars. She is also FOUR. I can't even imagine what threats or punishments it would take to make her act like something other than a four-year-old, which to me means impulsive and mercurial and physically active. As another PP said, there are those divine intervention days, when an onlooker could assume she is The Perfect Child. And there are other days when some stranger is undoubtedly rolling their eyes and mentally composing a DCUM post about how crap parents like me are destroying the next generation. 
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