Reply to Anybody read tomorrow’s Carolyn Hax?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here - I don't think I have a backbone at all. I do feel as if I have to manage DH's emotions - most of the time this is fine, but there are times when 1) I avoid him b/c I know what he's doing will cause frustration and anger 2) I've done things I didn't want to so he could feel better about a situation (and I've regretted it). 3) he used to tell me some things were not worth getting upset about - And I bought it. Maybe for him, but for me, it is useful to get upset and express my emotions and then move on. Just trying to figure out how to do that again.

It's been a long time since he has said, "I know I'm the worst person in the world ..." and for that I'm glad. But I don't have any reason to believe he's grown past that. In fact, it's possibly that I don't do anything to make him say that.

I've considered that he's controling before. But at he same time he's a super engaged father, does a lot for us, an equal partner in everything.

But he literally says black if I say white, if I say something, anything almost, he'll have to temper it with his own take on it, or basically disagree with anything I assert (e.g. I say "the Mayflower had about 100 passengers" an he'll say, no, I think it was more than that more like 150") or go check it on Google.  When I've pointed this out to him, he's said, "that's not true" (and proving my point).

I just want to be a better role model for my kids.
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