Reply to Help me with techniques for addressing my MIL’s behavior

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thank you. I will add she always is guilting us about not seeing the grandkids more (she can’t afford to visit often because of poor financial decisions and failing to save for her retirement) and asking when we will move back to her area (despite us owning our home here). So I just feel very picked at whenever she arrives and whenever I try to
Broach different topics - current events, what’s going on with the kids, things to do in the neighborhood, etc - she retreats to all of the aforementioned topics. So I guess part of my frustration is we have the same visit, conversationally, that we have every time she comes. She has zero interest in doing new activities with the kids, exploring our area, or even getting out of the house for a walk. [/quote]

“Yes, they love seeing you! Check with Bill about scheduling the next visit.”

“We love seeing you. We’re not moving.”

If she persists, find a reason to leave the room. Or the house. As I mentioned, you make this a deal with DH: Your promise is that you will do your utmost not to let your irritation show; but in order to help with that, you’re going to do housework in another room, or go to bed early, or go run errands, or meet a friend for coffee. So he runs “primary” on her, and you will do your best to keep a bland smile on your face.

What you seem to be stuck on is that you can fix or change her. She sounds pretty irritating, I will give you that. And? So? There’s lots of irritating people in this world. It’s not a crime to be an old person who repeats stories and wants grandkids to dote on her. Like…so what. All you can change is YOU, OP, and I haven’t really seen you take ownership of that.[/quote]

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