Reply to I don't want to spend holidays with my in-laws

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "I don't want to spend holidays with my in-laws - ever "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I've been married for 15 years. In that time, my DH and I made dozens - hundreds? - of attempts to see / hang out with/ visit my in-laws. With the exception of a handful of invites from DH and me, my in-laws always had other things to do (bingo night, church, book club, so-and-so's birthday, etc). This despite the fact that they live 45 minutes away in Bowie, MD. Whether my kids' birthdays or milestones or events (dance recitals or playoffs) or just wanting to have them over for dinner - or bring lunch / dinner to them - they've repeatedly rebuffed our attempts to be with them over the years.

EXCEPT (EXCEPT!) for holidays. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter - well, then we're invited. We absolutely [i]must[/i] come to their house. We[i] must [/i]celebrate the holiday. We [i]must[/i] be together as a family. Let's take a family photo and put it in the Christmas card and post it on Facebook and share it with our friends as if the fact that we're together is the norm. When it is not.

I'm done. I've done this for a decade and a half. If feel like we're a holiday prop. What Covid allowed us (DH, me) to recognize is how much we preferred not seeing my in-laws. We'd much rather spend the holidays with our family of choice - friends and dear ones who may not be biologically family but are willing participants in DH's and my life.

The calls from the in-laws have started coming in this week about us coming to them for Thanksgiving. I don't want to go. Haven't fully discussed with DH - think he feels the same. Our kids love their grandparents but, candidly, they spend far more quality time with members of our family of choice than anyone they're a blood relative to.

Would appreciate thoughtful perspectives. Guess I'm looking for a sanity check and validation. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics