Reply to Realized my SIL in "grey rocking" me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, do you even like her? She doesn’t seem likeable. I say this with kindness and compassion, but your post makes me wonder if you have self-esteem issues and/or a history of being socially rejected. Might be easier to ignore her right back; you have to know her behavior has nothing to do with you. [/quote]

PP here who hoped for a sister-relationship with my SIL and got a dud. I thought she didn't like me for a long time too. But she's just...not interested. It's not personal.

I see what OP may mean about making it worse to disengage...things get too quiet and weird. But maybe it wouldn't be weird for her? Maybe she'd prefer it. I tend to engage my BIL or my own family when with my SIL and I just engage her less. Or wait for an actual opportunity. Does she want to talk about rescue puppies or the calories in a particular brand of salad dressing? THERE is my IN! Go! Does she want to go get coffee or take a walk or find some hobby or tv show we have in common to talk about? Nope.

After many years and much acceptance, I realize I wouldn't ever actually be friends with my SIL in real life. I'm not disappointed that WE don't have a relationship. I am disappointed that we are SILs, I guess? That we are a bad match. I don't mean that to be cruel, but it's the best way I can put it.

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