Reply to Preschooler in trouble at school- what to do at home

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My 4 year old son’s preschool teacher has brought up frustrations with him not consistently listening to instructions, not paying attention during story time and distracting other kids (I have the same issue, he rarely likes to sit in bed while I’m reading), and today he hit her on her butt. Some days he does great but other days he does not, per the teacher.

He relates well to adults and kids and is fairly social, sleeps well at night, gets a good amount of exercise during the day etc but these issues are still arising. I had a long talk with him after school about how important it is for him to listen to his teachers and follow instructions and he apologized and said he wanted another try to do better. When I asked him why he hit his teacher on the butt [b]he said he was trying to sneak up and surprise her and that he was pretending to be invisible. [/b]We talked about not touching other people without permission and especially not touching anyone’s private parts. This is not something I’ve had issues with at home so I am surprised.

Not sure how to handle this aside from having continued conversations about behavior at school. I don’t want my kid to be “that kid” but I’m not sure how to handle this. What do you think I should do at home to stop this kind of behavior at school??[/quote]

Ha! the bolded part is just like my boy. He comes up with ideas to do something he thinks is funny/sneaky, and then can't stop himself from doing it, even though he can identify why it was a bad idea after the fact. This is impulsive behavior.

I am concerned about your preschool teacher bringing up frustrations/complaints about behavior without offering solutions/suggestions. Is this like, real-school preschool or just basically a child care activity? It's so common for kids not to be able to sit and listen and not get distracted when they are 4 years old. So I'm not sure about the qualifications of this teacher or the quality of the program.

When my kid was in PK3 (at a public elementary school with credentialed teachers and a therapist), he had behavior like hitting other students, not listening, etc, etc, but it was not brought to me as a problem for me to fix, instead they informed me of what the behaviors were and what they were doing to address. They recognized that this was in the realm of normal for his age and they worked with him on those issues at school. He participated in a small group with the therapist for kids with aggressive/impulsive behavior, I think they talked about the right ways to express anger and identifying your feelings and stuff like that. They also let me know what I could talk about at home to reinforce.

OK, so my kid is 5 now and I have to say he's a lot better than when he was 3 and 4. He is better able to think things through. And he has learned from his mistakes. This is just to say that growth/age will take care of some of this in time.

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