Reply to Be Brutally Honest When Saying You Want Divorce?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I divorced a BPD.

1. Get everything you care about out of the house.
2. Get all your finances squared away.
3. Have your lawyer ready to file. 
4. Have your lawyer tell her (as in send a letter).
5. Have your tape recorder running.

The second she finds out it's real all hell will break loose. [/quote]

+1. 
[quote=Anonymous]How did you tell your spouse you wanted a divorce? Or how did they tell you?

I’m thinking I need to be brutally honest with my wife - just rip off the band aid. She’s BPD, so it’s going to be hell. [/quote]

With my mentally ill narc spouse I had to move out and have the lawyers handled the rest. She delayed responding at every point of the process and blamed me for anything and everything she could think of..  But the court system provided dates and extensions.  It was the only way to get her to address or decide or respond to everything.  Mediation and settling does not work with these types.  Hopefully it might for you, but reasoning or being rationale or putting the kids (not herself) first is not what a mentally ill person is capable of.

The couples that end up in court are usually high conflict because of one players mental disorders. Inability to communication, be honorable, coparent well, and so on. I do wish the judges saw that more and understood mental disorders and narcissists.  The 1-2 year trial becomes a costly circus.
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