Reply to Just need to cry. 1 week postpartum

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Congratulations on your baby! And good work, momma! You know it's hormones', so let yourself cry. Your husband, who is carrying a lot of the work right now, is probably also a bit of a mess and you expecting him to be 100% supportive of YOU without showing any of the cracks he's feeling himself is unrealistic and I think you probably know this. But remind yourself that he's a man not a superhero so expect "complete support and encouragement" is an awful lot to ask. Be kind and forgiving and if you feel like crying do it. Ask your OB what you can do to help even out the hormonal waves. [/quote]

This is great advice. I'd also recommend that whenever you start to get mad that DH isn't giving you 100% have a list in your prepared of all he's doing. No one is 100%. It sounds like you've got a great DH. Remind yourself of the 95% instead of concentrating on the 5.  [/quote]

Thank you but that's actually the advice DH needs to hear. I am thanking him with gratitude nonstop, never criticizing him - I am so appreciative that he's taking 3 weeks off work to help manage the family so I can can heal and care for Baby. Things I might usually be critical of, like letting the kids watch a show for 2 hours in the morning - not sweating that an ounce. DH is doing such a stellar job ensuring everyone is taken care of I'm not going to criticize anything they do. Just enjoy themselves and help everyone feel loved and healthy now.

DH on the other hand has been a bit harsh with me on things that I don't even think are my fault or a big deal. I'm trying to tell him to please be more gentle in how he's talking to me and try to be patient and gentle. Examples:
Gave kids markers and coloring books while I BF baby and DH is in shower. DH comes back and 2 year old's mouth is blue from (nontoxic) marker. He gets so upset at me and says he's going to throw all the markers away. Like I've endangered our children and not supervising him. I'm sorry but please let's just put them away and our 4 year old can play with them another time without 2 year old since apparently he's still struggling with not chewing on them. He gets so gruff and goes on about it. Then he brings up a totally unrelated incident apparently trying to prove the point of how terrible a mother I am because I had my nighttime medications by the bed 3 days ago and he told me not to leave them there, so since then once I'm up in AM I put them out of reach. But this was 3 days ago and no need to bring it up. And he's going on about how I leave my "drugs everywhere" (it's just a pill case with my Tylenol, vitamins and antibiotics which I need by my bed at night to take something every 4 hours). Anyway to me it's just ridiculous to be trying to bring up things over and over in an apparent desire to criticize me. When I too am trying my best, alone with the Baby all night breastfeeding.... Agh he needs to hear it from someone other than me to give me a break, be gentle, please.

Whenever these things happen I just get heartbroken. I'm fragile now.[/quote]

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