Reply to I'm tired of my parents excusing my sisters vindictive behavior as jealousy

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, as ever people are eager here to be mean assholes in the name of tough love, but the emphasis on boundaries and on accepting fully that none of them will change is important. I’ve been dealing with something semi-similar and finally realized that I don’t need quorum, I don’t need other members of my family to agree with me, and that my perceptions and reality have innate value and legitimacy. It’s true for all of us.[/quote]

+1  When my sister was nasty, I was told by my mother that I was just oversensitive.  Guess what as I became an adult, every time a friend or significant other were around both of us, I'd get a comment later such as "boy your sister is mean to you"  Even my tweens pick up on it.  It sucks that my mother will never stand up for me but I can let it go because finally I know its real and not just me being "too sensitive."[/quote]

I’m OR from above. I’ve finally really confronted the vicious sarcasm my sibling tosses at me and how my parents have said nothing. I was clear and direct a d the peace I felt in telling them I didn’t care if they agreed or not was really profound and I realized later it was because I was telling the truth, and I knew I was telling the truth. I got to this point because something in me clicked into place about modeling boundaries and self-respect for my young DD. She is very empathic which is great, and how I was. I don’t want her to put herself behind users, sarcastic/depressed people, etc, out of a sense of obligation. I did abs was frequently and explicitly told by my parents to do so, to be tolerant of other people’s problems since I was ok, since I had more materially or better grades. And that is some real bull, and it caused me problems. I’ve decided to end that. Damn the torpedoes.

Good luck, OP.[/quote]

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