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[quote=Anonymous]How old is your kid?  Is he/she actually asking this, or are you trying to figure out what to say when the question does come up?  Were you married or involved for a long time, or is the kid the product of a short-term relationship?  (no judgment here - i got pregnant the *first* time I had sex with my ex; our relationship didn't withstand the surprise pregnancy.)

I'm not sure what to say.  For a slightly older kid, something fairly close to the truth might work.  "Having children is a big commitment. Your dad just wasn't ready for it.  I was disappointed in him, but unfortunately, that's just the way it is.  But you have me, and great family and friends - that's really all we need."  For a young kid, you might just say, "Your dad lives in [wherever he lives]" and tell him/her about that state and point to it on the map.  maybe say, "we don't live with your dad - some families are just one mommy or one daddy, while some have one of each."

I'm trying to figure out what the hell to say to my daughter if she ever asks why her dad and I don't live in the same house.  I'm also trying to figure out what to say if she ever asks if Dad and I were married, because we weren't.  I really don't want to go down the "you were an accident, but an ultimately-awesome one" road.  Ugh.  on the bright side, my situation could make for a great "hey, birth control is not foolproof" argument.  lol.  Good luck.[/quote]

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