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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. How do parents choose between what they need for themselves and what is best for their children? I don’t want to be married to this person but how do I weigh that with my children’s needs? I also feel guilty that if I hadn’t gone away for a week this wouldn’t have happened. Like it’s my fault this all happened. [/quote]

First, you leaving has nothing to do with this dude’s drinking.

First step, get yourself a good therapist and Al Anon.

Second step, see a lawyer.

Third step, start to analyze how this looks to your kid. How old is the kid? Can they fix themselves a sandwich if they are at dads and he is passed out? Are they close to an age where they can just refuse to see their dad and the court won’t do too much about it? Do you really think your spouse will actively exercise taking the kid? Do you think they will even fight to see the kid on paper? Can you love without child support? All of this would factor into how I handled it.

I will say that I really wish my mom had left my dad who had a drinking problem. We would have been ages 12-16 and she totally should have done it. If we had been 4-8, she probably would have needed to stay a while. But, she never left.[/quote]

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