Reply to Anyone else feel socially awkward in mom groups but not in the other parts of life?

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[quote=Anonymous]Yes. I can't wait until my kid is older and there is a little less pressure to fit in or make friends with her peer's moms.

I think more of us feel this way than you realize, which is one reason these groups are often so awkward -- everyone feels awkward and therefore everyone comes off as unwelcoming/distant, and that just makes everyone feel even more awkward, and it's a downward spiral.

I have accepted that most of the time, I'm not going to make lifelong or even casual friends in these groups. Instead, I just try to be pleasant and friendly in the moment to ease the burden of chatting when you have to be social. I try to stay away from any question or comment that could be viewed as competitive or comparison based because that's something that annoys me when other people do it. I also don't tend to ask a lot of "what do you do/where do you live" questions because some people find them off putting and usually if people want to tell you this stuff, they volunteer it.

Instead, I ask people stuff like what their summer plans are (boring, I know, but also usually easy to answer) or I'll just pick something kid-related and ask about it or solicit advice/suggestions (do you like that stroller? how did you find your preschool program? oh I've been looking for a sunhat just like that, where did you find it?). Not a ton, I don't want to interrogate, but enough to take an interest in them and create an opportunity to make a connection of some kind.

It's hard. I am guilty of going to playgrounds after lunch specifically because I know a lot of families head home for naps at that time and I like having fewer people around. I'm the worst![/quote]

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