Reply to Potty training - how to make the transition to underwear & other questions

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do the posters who are suggesting OP just go cold turkey on pull ups have experience potty training an older child, or are you just responding to what you think is someone who “waited too long” to potty train?

I ask because I had a late-to-train child and posted about it on these boards and everyone said the same thing— throw out pull-ups, don’t give your child a choice. I get why people thought that was the solution because yes, my kid was absolutely attached to pull-ups as security and it was inhibiting her ability to train.

But what people don’t understand is that children like this LOSE THEIR MINDS if you try to deprive them of pull ups. It’s their security blanket, they often have tons of potty anxiety, and if you tell them “no pull-ups after [x time]” or worse, just took them away one day, their anxiety goes through the roof and you often lose whatever progress you’ve made around potty training to that point.

We had to work with a behavioral therapist to train our kid. Unlike the DCUM crowd, she never suggested taking pull-ups away 100% and in fact our kid still wears them at night and probably will for at least another year or two. What we wound up doing was a gradual step down, starting with “pants off” afternoons at home. That did indeed mean waiting until after a planned vacation and until weather improved, because the goal was to optimize security and comfort for our kid and we needed not to have a deadline to decrease stress and anxiety.

Basically: if you have never trained an older child, and especially not a child who actively resisted training (my kid had total, epic meltdowns when we attempted to train via Oh Crap and other DCUM-approved methods at 2.5 and then 3), then you maybe should not weigh in on these threads. Especially if your first reaction is that it’s shameful or bad that an almost-4yo is in pull-ups. You are suggesting ineffective methods based on a sense of shame and urgency, which is the LAST THING a parent or child in this position needs. The truth is that older, anxious kids need to have a lot of control over potty training because it’s the only way for them to address their anxiety and “feel ready”. Younger kids don’t necessarily need that and can be guided/bribed/cajoled more easily. If you only trained a younger child, you are not a potty training expert. The opposite actually. You had an easier to train child and this have less knowledge and experience in this specific issue.[/quote]

It sounds like your child had other issues, PP.  This is not the norm by any means.  Most kids like pull ups because they’re the easiest.  The path of least resistance.  They can pee while not stopping what they’re doing.

So yes, I stand by my advice to get rid of all pull ups unless your child has anxiety issues like yours did. [/quote]

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