Reply to The 2.5 yr old contrary-phase is killing me.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DD started to come out of this at 3.5 (I know, it sounds like an eternity). It's partly that they learn more about how conversation works and can engage ideas in more productive ways, and it's partly that you learn how to handle it better.

I got really good at offering choice questions ("do you want to eat now or read a book first?") instead of something more open ended ("do you want to wait a few minutes?"). It's harder for them to be contrary when deciding between two choices. And sometimes you just don't give choices at all. So the conversation can go like this:

You: it’s lunch time 
DS: no, it’s not lunch time 
You: oh, okay, well I'm going to eat anyway
DS: me too! don't start without me
You: we’re having you favorite noodles 
DS: no, we’re not. 
You: oh really? then these must be MY favorite noodles! Yum yum yum.
DS: no mommy, these are my favorite noodles too!

It's like a skill to not engage the contrarianism, but also to keep it light and moving things forward. It really helps because this stage is all about them asserting independence, and you have to find a way to allow them to be independent without allowing it to derail you. Let him choose when he eats lunch, but don't let it impact your schedule. Let him decide if something is his favorite or not, but that doesn't mean you have to cater to him or change things because he's suddenly decided he hates something he used to love. Let him be in charge of his body and his brain, but you're still in charge of the big picture because you are the grown up.[/quote]

Great post, PP. Hone your skills and keep it light. You’ll be surprised at how quickly you get used to it and good at it.[/quote]

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