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[quote=Anonymous]DH and I both have very close friends with bipolar.  I have been friends with her for 24 years (middle school) and DH has been friends with him for 11 years.

We are able to still be good friends with them, but it takes patience and understanding.  Our friends can withdraw for months at a time.  they can put themselves in bad financial situations because of constantly moving jobs. They can get mad at us for reasons we don't understand.  It isn't always the easiest friendship to have and there is def. more work on my part to keep it going (its normal for her to retreat and then feel bad about reaching out afterwards).

That said, she was the 2nd person I called when my dad died (DH was first) and one of the few people that I feel like I can be completely vulnerable with.  she has trusted me with a lot of her mental health load, and in return, i trust her with mine.

DH's friend's BPD can be a bit harder to work with, as his mania is high and his lows are low.  But DH is understanding that the disorder is not who his friend is and he's patient. 
 
Things won't be normal.  They just aren't with someone with a personality disorder.  You make your own normal.  I would recommend getting a therapist.  It also DOES NOT make you a bad person if you have to put yours or your children's well being over that of your spouse.  
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