Reply to Starting new daycare during pandemic

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[quote=Anonymous]I know this may be crazy but I can't take it anymore and I need help.

I have an 8 year old, 7 year old, a 20-month old, and a 4-month old. In addition, my 68-year old mother lives with DH and I but it feels like I am doing the brunt of all of the child rearing. I'm also working full-time (or at least I'm supposed to but I'm barely hanging on there). When I try to ask DH for help he gets super defensive and wants detailed accounts of how he's not helping, then he turns it around to tell me all the ways I'm wrong and he's right. I can't engage in that nonsense any longer, if I do I will seriously lose it and I know I will say things that will hurt him.

My mother is a hypochondriac and self-diagnoses every week, this week she’s decided that she has early onset dementia. Plus all she wants to do is sit in front of the TV and hold the baby – which would be great if it was a different kid but this child likes to watch his siblings and to be talked to. She also monopolizes the only TV downstairs (even though there is one in her room) so I can’t even park the toddler in front of the TV for a few minutes lest it interrupt her Law and Order episodes.

I don’t think I can handle another person in this house so I am leaning to signing up the younger two for daycare vs. in-home nanny. There isn’t anyone else I can talk to about this. My best friend has two little ones and has been working (she’s essential healthcare) but her DH was laid off and she’s stressed enough. Do you think I’m crazy for going the daycare route at this time? Are there options I’m not considering?
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