Reply to Reasonable phone/screen time for 14 years old 9th grader

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[quote=Anonymous]DD got her phone after the school went into distance learning mode since last March.  We talked about limiting her screen time to 2-3 hrs a day.  That has never happened.  She kept saying that she needs to use her phone to keep in touch with friends or she will go insane.  Now her phone usage is pushing 9-12 hours.  I have set screen time limits and downtime on her phone.  Those limits never work.  I kept hoping that she would learn to self-regulate, but now I don't think that is possible.  She will come up with all kinds of reasons why she needs her phone, such as to get notifications when her teachers post things on-line, her group projects cannot be completed without the phone, she needs the phone to listen to music, etc.  She said that I am just trying to control her and don't want her to be happy if I limit her phone time.  In addition to phone, she also has a laptop where she has access to discord, instagram while doing distance learning.  I don't even know how much time she is spending on the laptop.  What would be a reasonable phone/screen time ?  She is my oldest, and her younger siblings are all watching how I am dealing with her regarding phone/computer usage.  Help.[/quote]

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